"Core! We need lyrics now!"
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This is the transcript for the episode "All You Need is Cake".
| (Grojband is in the garage) | |
| (Laney, Kon, Kin and Corey sigh one at a time) | |
| Corey Riffin | My brain feels like... (blows raspberry). Maybe TV will help. |
| (Corey kicks off his shoe, turning on the computer) | |
| Chance Happening | And now for "Wut Dat?" with Buzz Newsworthy. |
| (Buzz Newsworthy is standing in front of a giant cake being built with cranes | |
| Buzz Newsworthy | Thank you, Chance Happening. "Dat" would be the tallest cake in all of Peaceville. |
| Grojband | Wut dat?! |
| Buzz | One-hundred stories of stories of flakey bakey sugar cakey! Mhmm, mm! |
| Laney Penn | Pfft. The cake was really that tall, we'd be able to see it from... |
| (Laney opens the garage door, providing a view of the cake in the distance) | |
| Kin Kujira & Kon Kujira | Caaaaaaaaaakkkeee... |
| Corey | Friends, I vow to you this day that we will eat that cake. |
| Buzz | To those who would eat that cake: |
| Kon | He's talking about us! |
| Buzz | You can forget it. |
| Grojband | Aww. |
| Buzz | Unless you're invited to the wedding of Bake Barn heiress Barnina Barnley. |
| (Screen pictures Barnina Barnley) | |
| (Picture shatters to pieces) | |
| Corey | Guys. There's only one way we're gonna eat that cake. |
| (Wicked Cool Transition of a slice of cake being eaten with singers singing "Eat That Cake Transition") | |
| (Grojband are now at the wedding venue) | |
| Corey | Anybody looking for a wedding band? |
| Cake Barney | Me! I'm Cake Barney, owner of the Bake Barn and happy dad to the sweetest little bride in Peaceville. |
| (Barney points to his daughter giving orders to a worker) | |
| Barnina Barnley | I want more heart shaped sequins molded into kissing puppies with hearts for eyes that say 'I Ruv Rou', and then sneeze butterflies. |
| Cake Barney | She sure is crazy... About love. I need some really lovey songs for this wedding or I don't know what she'll do. |
| Corey | We're all about the cake- uh, love. |
| Trina | Corey? Sing a love song? Scoff! He's never been in love, and totally knows nothing about it! |
| Barnina | Daddy! Only love-wuvers can sing at my wedding! |
| Cake Barney | Sorry, Corey. If love ain't in your heart, it ain't coming outta your head. We'll find another band. |
| (Barney and Barnina walk offscreen) | |
| Corey | Why did you ruin our gig?! |
| Trina | If I can't have love, no one can! I used to be in max love with my sweater, Pinkcredible, but now I'm into hoodies and Pinkcredible totally wouldn't change for me. So there's no way you're gonna have something you love when love just did me wrong. Mina, cupcake! |
| (Mina feeds Trina a cupcake) | |
| Corey | Uhh... |
| Trina | [muffled because her mouth is full of cupcake] Tastes like sad. [sobs] |
| (Cake frosting spills all over the screen) | |
| (Corey and Laney ascend in a pot to talk to Barney, who is icing the cake) | |
| Corey | Barney, I can totally crush—Uh, cuddle!—a love song, I‘m madly in love with cake! I mean— With— Uhh... |
| Laney | Me! Corey's in love with me! |
| Corey | Whaaaaaaaaa— |
| (Kin and Kon ascend in a pot next to them miming cake eating) | |
| Corey | —hoo! Yep! That's what love makes me yell! |
| Cake Barney | Okay. But if you wanna play this wedding, you'd better be so in love that it makes me puke. |
| Corey | We'll all puke! |
| ("Fake love equals cake" transition) | |
| (Corey and Laney are having a picnic in Peaceville Park) | |
| Laney | We've only got a few hours to make you fall in love. |
| Corey | For fakesies, to eat cakesies! |
| Laney | Oh, yeah, total false love, but we need to know how to do in-love stuff so you know how it feels. For others. |
| Corey | And picnics are more lovely than all-you-can-eat cheese fries because...? |
| (Laney bats her eyelashes at Corey.) | |
| Corey | What's wrong with your eyes? |
| (Kin and Kon appear out of the picnic basket) | |
| Kon | Got a bug in there or something? |
| Kin | You should wash it before it gets infected and filled with pus. |
| (Kin sprays water on Laney's right eye, prompting Kin and Kon to laugh as Laney turns red) | |
| Laney | Beat it so Corey can love me! (chuckles nervously) So we can fool Barney and cake can happen! |
| Kon | Now we're talkin' romance! |
| (Corey and Laney are sharing a giant chocolate milkshake) | |
| Laney | Sharing a milkshake is super cute! |
| Corey | But I wanted banana. |
| Laney | Chocolate is cuter. |
| Kin & Kon | Bubble time! |
| (Kin and Kon appear and stick straws into the milkshake and blow bubbles all over Corey and Laney) | |
| Kon | You guys are adorbs. |
| (Kin, Kon, and Corey laugh while Laney grumbles) | |
| (Corey and Laney are walking along a beach with Laney making loving eyes at Corey) | |
| (Corey pulls a funny face and laughs, to Laney's disappointment) | |
| (Corey and Laney start splashing each other in the surf before two shark fins approach, revealed to be Kin and Kon) | |
| Kin & Kon | Shark attack! |
| (A crab lands on Laney's head and she gives an angry look to a scared Kin and Kon) | |
| (Corey and Laney walk away from Kin and Kon buried in the sand, who struggle as crabs approach them) | |
| (Corey and Laney are riding a swan boat through the Tunnel of Love) | |
| Laney | When you're in love, even doing nothing at all is wonderful. |
| Corey | I don't know. Feels more boring. |
| Laney | Shh! Wonderful. |
| Kin & Kon | Bumper swans! |
| (Kin and Kon hit Corey and Laney's swan boat with their own) | |
| Corey | C'mon, Lanes! We gotta catch 'em! |
| Laney | Not romantic, Core. |
| Corey | We'd be ramming into them, together? |
| Kin | You're not chasing us. |
| Kon | Did we break your legs when we rammed you? |
| Laney | Core: can you ask your friends to leave us alone? |
| Kin | We're your friends too. |
| Kon | Yeah. You ask us to leave you alone. |
| Laney | Stop ruining this for me! |
| Corey | Uh guys, can you— |
| Kin | Ram you again? |
| Kon | Put flames on your boat? |
| Kin and Kon | Be awesome buds?! |
| Corey | —Leave us alone... |
| Kin | Yeah. No— problem. |
| (Kin and Kon dejectedly pedal their swan boat backwards while Laney hugs Corey) | |
| Kon | Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. |
Bottom line, if we're out,
we're all the way out!
-Are we moving?
-Moving? You don't even live here.
Exactly!
We had so many happy times.
It feels like just yesterday,
and this all was today.
Oh, Pinkredible,
I feel so alone.
Should I make sweater noises?