Soulin' Down the Road/Transcript

This is a transcript for the episode "Soulin' Down the Road".

	(The episode opens with Kin tinkering with a toaster in the garage)
Kon Kujira	So, when you're done with that thing, will it feel stuff?
Kin Kujira	No! I'm just making it so it'll toast happy faces on my toast.
Kon	It would be cool if it toasted a face for whatever mood it was in.
Kin	If we programmed a soul, we'd be telling it how to feel. Creepy!
Kon	You're already telling it how to toast, dude!
Laney Penn	If I don't get a smile on this soon,
	(Laney is shown pointing at a piece of bread)
Laney	you're gonna get a frown on this.
	(Laney points at her face and frowns)
Corey Riffin	Guys!
	(Corey slides down the bannister)
Corey	Tell me all about soul!
Kon	In a toaster context?
Corey	In a music context!
Kin/Kon	Soul music?!
Kin	Rhythm and Blues plus Rock 'n' Roll!
Kon	Is the recipe for 50's soul!
	(Kin and Kon show a Rock Lore with four African American singers performing)
Kin	The Motivations were the princes of 50's soul music. If they had a feelin' that needed revealin', they'd let music do the healin'.
Frontman	(singing) Ooh, baby
Backup Singers	Baby, baby, yeah
Frontman	I'm hurting and longing
Backup Singers	Baby, baby, yeah!
Frontman	But I just can't sing out
Backup Singers	Baby, baby, yeah
Frontman	My heart has to ring out!
Backup Singers	Baby, baby, yeah
Frontman	And testify
Backup Singers	Baby, baby, yeah
	(The backup singers continue through Kin and Kon's exposition)
Kin	You don't just play soul music, you gotta feel it. It has to come from the soul.
Kon	When you try to fake it, you just can't make it!
Kin	Baby!
	(Kin's vocalization stops the song and the scene pops back to the garage)
Corey	Well, Grojband needs to feel some feelings. It's 50's night at the drive-in and I booked us to play some soul music!
Kin/Kon	WHAT?!
Kin	Weren't you listening to our imaginations?! We'll never pull it off unless we feel the soul inside!
Kon	This isn't the 50's, Corey! People don't have feelings anymore!
Laney	I think I feel a frown coming on.
	(Laney looks at the piece of bread in her hand which Corey then places in the toaster)
Corey	What if we pumped-up our souls with some kinda amplifier?
Kin	I think I can build something that'll help us.
	(There is a close-up of Kin's face)
Kin	Or cause untold horrors! (laughing maniacally)
	(The toast pops up with a smiley face on it)
Corey/Laney/Kin/Kon	Yay!
	(Toasty Skull Transition)
	(The scene transitions to Trina at the Peaceville Movie-in-your-Car Barn holding a blue skirt with a poodle on it)
Trina Riffin	There's like, minus five ways I'm wearing this.
Movie-in-your-Car Barney	It's '50s night, Trina, and that's what skirts was like in the '50s. The Peaceville Movie-in-your-Car Barn insists that youse wear it.
	(Trina is typing on her phone)
Movie-in-your-Car Barney	Hold on! I got a Bleat. "Trina Riffin so totally just quit her job and junk." Wh-what?!
	(Trina quickly leaves, dropping the skirt on the floor, before being shown inside her car)
Mina Beff	Way to quit your job over a skirt, Trina! So, if you have the day off, I was thinking we could have a BFF girl fun road trip!
Trina	But Mina, you're not in my car and I'm leaving.
	(Trina drives off, with flames following her)
Mina	That's fair. I'll plan ahead next time, Trina!
	(The scene transitions back to the garage where Kin has made a soul amplifying camera)
Kin	I suped-up this spirit energy camera with a dreamcatcher and some crystals! It'll amp our souls up for sure! I'll start the timer.
	(Kin pushes the lever on the toaster and does a pose with Corey and Kon against the garage door)
Corey	Quick, while Laney's mouth is too full to harsh on this plan!
	(Trina's car is heard, making the band run out of the way)
Corey/Laney/Kin/Kon	AHH!
	(Trina's car crashes through the garage door and knocks the camera, which sends an energy beam that separates Trina's soul from her body before the camera smashes on the floor)
	(Laney swallows her toast)
Laney	I'm not sure about this plan, Core.
Kin	Hmm. She wrecked the machine. I can fix it, but we need a new camera from that kiosk at the mall.
	(The band goes up to Trina, who is asleep)
Corey	(sarcastically) Don't get up, Trina, we're fine!
	(Corey taps Trina on the head)
Corey	(sigh) Let's get that camera, guys.
	(Grojband leaves while Trina starts talking, although she's still asleep)
Trina	Corey, get out of my grill! Ha! Car puns! Wait. Why can't I feel, like, my parts and whatever? What the what is going on?! I'm in my car...
	(Trina's car doors and bonnet open)
Trina	I am my car!
	(Trina's car doors and bonnet close)
Trina	(gasp) Wait! Boys love cars. Nick's a boy. Nick will love me! I gotta dump this limp body before I ask him out!
	(Trina drives off, leaving a trail of flames as the scene transitions to her talking to Mina)
Trina	So, yeah. Let's totally go on this lame road trip. But, I'm not gonna move or talk. Kay?
Mina	No problem, Trina!
	(Mina removes Trina's body from her car and drags it along the floor)
Mina	I'm just glad I get to plan the trip.
	(Mina places Trina's body in her motorcycle's sidecar with a helmet)
Mina	We'll take so many BFF selfies!
	(Mina takes a selfie of her and Trina before driving off)
Trina	So...
	(Trina slams her car door shut)
Trina	How does a super cute girl car spend her day? Makeover!
	(Trina drives off and the scene transitions to Grojband at The Quackery Shack)
Chipper	Triple double bubblegum. Triple double bubblegum. Triple double bubblegum.
Kin	(clears throat)
Chipper	Welcome back to The Quackery Shack! We believe in everything!
Kin	We need another spirit camera.
Chipper	Cool! Are you taking pictures of auras? Or ghosts? Or spirit orbs?! They all exist, you know?
Kon	Don't be ridiculous! We're amping up our soul energies so we can play music at a drive-in, you crackpot!
Chipper	Hmph! This is our last camera
	(Chipper presents a spirit camera and throws it at Kon)
Chipper	and it only has one shot left on it. No one makes that old-timey film anymore.
Kon	Say 'cheese!'
	(Kon poses for a selfie while pointing the camera at himself)
Kin	DON'T!
	(Kin snatches the camera back from Kon)
Kon	What?
Corey	Let's hope Trina doesn't photobomb us this time.
	(Trina's engine revs and she is seen driving inside the mall)
Corey	AHHH!
Trina	Super move it!
	(Trina speeds past Grojband, leaving a trail of flames)
Corey	Did anyone else just not see Trina driving her car?!
	(The scene transitions to a red shoe at a shoe store)
Trina	(gasp) Shoes!
	(Trina runs over the shoe)
Trina	Uh! They don't fit. Whatever.
	(Trina reverses out of the store, leaving a trail of flames as Grojband watch)
	(The scene shows Trina with a blue skirt on her grille)
Saleswoman	Hmm. That makes your bumper look big.
	(Trina revs her engine, scaring the saleswoman)
Trina	It's my size!
	(Trina drives into the mirror, cracking it)
Trina	Your mirror is BROKEN!
	(Trina reverses out of the store, leaving a trail of flames)
	(Another saleswoman is shown putting pink lip gloss on a donkey before being honked and driven at by Trina)
Trina	Kiss-tastic lip gloss! GIMME!
	(The saleswoman grabs a handful of lip gloss and wipes it on Trina's grille as Grojband watches)
Laney	Weird. It's like Trina's car has a mind of its own!
Kin	Or... a soul!
	(Kin shows the spirit camera's picture of Trina's soul leaving her body)
Kin	The machine was too strong. It shoved her soul out of her body and into her car! Kinda cool, actually.
Laney	We've only got one soul shot left. We either get Trina's soul back into her body or boost our own souls for the gig.
Corey	With Trina trapped in her car, we can kiss our regular diary lyrics goodbye! We gotta get her out.
Kon	Think she'll drive us home? We've done a lot of walking today.
	(Pictures of Mina with Trina's body at an apple orchard are shown, with Trina faceplanting into a basket of apples)
	(Trina smashes out the front door of the mall with lip gloss on her grille, pink hub caps, and a pink headband with a purple flower on it)
Trina	Nick's gonna love this headband!
Kon	AH!
	(Kon jumps onto Trina's bonnet)
Trina	Hit the road!
	(Trina's bonnet opens, flinging Kon into the air)
Kon	AHH!
Corey	Trina! Your soul is trapped in your car! We're going to get you out!
Trina	No way! Being a car is great! I can cut any line at the mall and I can crush so much more of people than just their spirits!
	(Trina revs her engine)
Corey	Hmm...
Laney	Uh, Core?!
	(Kin appears with a new soul-amplifying camera and points it at Trina)
!Kin	Watch the birdie!
Corey	Wait!
	(Corey puts his hand over the camera lens)
Corey	Y'know Trina, since you're a car, you should take Nick to the drive-in! It's 50's night, and nothing is more 50's than kissing at the drive-in.
	(Trina's bonnet and trunk open)
Trina	Me and Nick kissing at the drive-in?! So yes!
	(Trina drives away, with flames following her)
Kin	Why'd you let her go?!
Corey	Because I think I know how we can get her soul out of her car and her lyrics out of her soul in one shot.
Kon	(sarcastically) Nobody check on Kon! I'm sure his ribs are fine!
	(Pictures of Mina with Trina's body at a goat farm are shown, with some goats eating Trina's hair)
	(The scene transitions to Nick Mallory looking at an old car)
Nick Mallory	Cool cars are Nick Mallory's favorite kind of cars.
	(Trina honks and smashes the other car out of the frame)
Trina	Hey, Nick!
	(Trina opens her door)
Trina	Hop in!
Nick	Girl car? Nick has a new favorite kind of car.
	(Trina controls her seatbelts to bind Nick and pull him inside the car)
Nick	Wow! WAH!
	(Trina drives off, leaving a trail of fire)
	(This Could Lead to Somethin'!)
	(The scene transitions to Grojband at Movie-in-your-Car Barn)
Movie-in-your-Car Barney	Welcome to 50's night! My 50's style rollerskate waitress quit today, so I'll be taking your orders myself.
	(After styling his hair, Barney tries to skate off the stage, but falls over)
Movie-in-your-Car Barney	Wha-oosh! [painfully] Be patient...
Bertha	My, this brings back memories!
	(Bertha's car is knocked out of the way by Trina, who then assumes the parking space)
Trina	Times change, somebody's grandma! Outta the way!
Nick	Way to score a prime spot, girl car.
	(A horn honks as Mina parks next to Trina's car, still carrying her body)
Mina	Surprise BFF movie night! I couldn't let the trip end with the ziplining.
	(A photo is shown of the pair ziplining, with Trina's body hanging upside down by her leg)
Mina	Popcorn's on me! (whistles)
	(Mina walks away)
Kin	Huh. Mina had Trina's body this whole time. Good thing we didn't blast her soul out earlier.
Laney	So, what's the plan, Core?
Corey	Nick Mallory gets weirded out because he's on a date with a car. Trina loses it and we blast her soul back into her skin in time to diary up some lyrics.
	(Nick is shown caressing Trina's seatbelt)
Nick	Your seatbelts and airbags make me feel safe, and picking me up made me feel special!
	(Nick rubs Trina's seat, leading to her giggling)
Laney	Looks like Nick is kinda into dating a car.
Corey	No problem! If Nick's so into it, maybe he needs to make his move!
	(Corey leaves the stage and emerges in the backseat of Trina's car, where he then whispers in Nick's ear before disappearing behind the seat again)
Nick	Nick's ear just had a great idea. It's 50's night, and there's nothing more 50's than kissing at a drive-in.
	(Nick leaves Trina's car)
Trina	Kissing? Kissing?!
	(Trina giggles while honking her horn)
Nick	Havin' a great night, girl car.
	(Nick leans into Trina's bonnet ornament to kiss it)
Trina	I can't believe it. Finally!
	(Trina's bonnet opens due to her excitement, hitting Nick in the head)
Nick	Nick's had a... change of heart.
	(Nick collapses)
Trina	Nick! Nick! No! My big chromey love was too heavy for you! I'M A METAL MONSTER!
	(Trina cries loudly as she sprays wiper fluid)
Corey	Huh. I was thinking Trina would go diary after finally kissing Nick. But this works too! Kin! Now!
	(Kin approaches with the soul-amplifying camera)
Kin	Say, "Limburger!"
	(Kin takes a photo of Trina's car, causing her crying soul to fly out of it and enter Crying Soul Diary Mode before falling back into her body)
Trina	Gah!
	(Trina looks over her body as Mina returns with popcorn)
Mina	I got extra butter for you!
	(Corey catches Trina's diary)
Laney	We've got lyrics, but now we can't use the machine to amp up our souls.
Corey	Yeah, but this is full of pain and longing straight from the soul!
	(Corey puts on a pair of sunglasses)
Corey	Let's testify!
	(Grojband performs "These Old Rusty Eyes")
Corey (singing)	These old rusty eyes are crying for you!
Laney/Kin/Kon (singing)	My love weighed too much, then we were through.
Corey (singing)	And now that you're gone, it ain't no surprise
Laney/Kin/Kon (singing)	That I've got some tears in my eyes.
Kin (singing)	In these old rusty,
Kon (singing)	In these old rusty,
Corey/Laney/Kin/Kon (singing)	E-e-e-eyes!
Corey (singing)	But I wipe 'em away, I lift my chin high!
Laney/Kin/Kon (singing)	Wipe 'em away. Hold 'em really high!
Corey (singing)	'Cause I'm here to stay, though you said goodbye!
Laney/Kin/Kon (singing)	You said goodbye! You said goodbye!
Kin (singing)	Yeah, it's true,
Kon (singing)	These eyes are,
Corey (singing)	Shinin' like new!
Corey/Laney/Kin/Kon (singing)	Yeah!
	(The song ends with the audience cheering and throwing popcorn on stage)
	(The scene transitions to the band eating popcorn while watching a Frankenstein movie)
Movie-in-your-Car Barney	You guys was great! You wanna play my '60s night next week?
Corey	Thanks, Movie In Your Car Barney, but we're not really feeling it.
	(A spotlight shines on Corey)
Corey	There are just some things you shouldn't do with your car, like date it, or let it kiss you.
	(Movie-in-your-Car Barney falls over)
Corey	Times have changed, and you can't go back! No matter how magic and weird your dream-catching soul camera is.
	(The spotlight turns off)
Kon	Man, I don't know why you wasted so much time with that toast! There's nothing like popcorn!
	(Kon eats a handful of popcorn and "clinks" popcorn buckets with Kin)
Corey	Thanks for coming out, everyone!
	(Corey closes the garage door and the toaster pops up having burnt an angry face into a piece of toast)